Random
This Feels Wrong
Aug 11th
Watching television this morning, I saw the trailer for this new movie that looks to be the generic romantic comedy (minus Hugh Grant) of the weekend. Going the Distance was the movie and its stars Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, and Charlie???
Since I’ve watched every episode of Always Sunny in Philadelphia two or three thousand times, seeing Charlie in a Rom Com this felt similar to how I imagine meeting your mom’s new boyfriend would feel. So I looked into this phenomenon and found more disturbing images of the gang:
Sweet Dee was in Weather Girl
Dennis was a Doctor in Crank
And my favorite is Mac. I know he was in Lost but I found these 2 other more important roles
also Mac’s work in the four loko commercial (he’s the one in red)
Teach Me How to Dougie
Aug 5th
Not sure what this bro was thinking, but I don’t think that’s what he hoped would happen. His friend summed up my reaction pretty well at the end.
Man’s guide to shopping at Urban Outfitters
Jul 30th
1. Don’t be tricked by the commercialized indie feel that washes over you when you enter, this is excessive A/C.
2. You’ll probably be greeted by a hipster who looks as if she would play opposite Michael Cera in an awkward overly contemporary indie movie dripping with coming of age love failure.
Fucking Hipsters with their god damn PBR
3. Ignore the sunglasses on the racks, these can be purchased else where for 90% less.
4.Spend sometime looking at the coffee table books. Don’t commit to one of these books, things white people like and pictures of Banksy art are readily available on the internet, you don’t need a book.
5. Reminisce: spend some time looking at the tee shirts that have pictures on them. Whether it’s Alf, Where the Wild Things Are, or Ninja Turtles, in some way Urban has attempted to destroy your memories of youth.
6.Pearl Snaps…. just leave these alone, they don’t work for you.
7.Check out the BDG shirts. These t shirts are great, but they shrink like a bitch and the sizes are overstated to make you feel bigger than you are. This should help:
8. On your way out be sure to pick up 10-12 pairs of Haviana sandals
Attempt at Viral Marketing?
Jul 23rd
With the new direct TV commercial, one would thing that Old Spice man, Isaiah Mustafa, has inspired more monologue driven, obscure Viral Marketing attempts. Perhaps just a complement or maybe a mockery (Direct TV is good at this), either way there is no denying the resemblance.
How to be a Douche
Jul 20th
Since they’re almost certainly backed into the spot, make sure to park uncomfortably close to the driver’s side
NPNR Vernacular – Part 1
Jul 15th
Like so many inside jokes the men of NPNR implore a plethora of awesome phrases, sayings, and life lessons, we believe that the public not only has the right but the need to utilize. In this particular section we will outline just a few of the somewhat derogatory, yet totally justified terms to label certain women.
Bopper [n, bop-er]-
-An attractive (often promiscuous) female that has acquired a reputation with a tendency to overreact, cry, and in general act unintelligent on a regular basis.
· (See Soristitute)
Sorostitute [n, soros-ti·tute]-
-A term generally reserved for those in a sorority, though not all promiscuous, they are relativley simple to spot.
Telltale signs:
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Bleach Blond Hair:
Leggings in winter and summer:
- Hey im a fan of them but facts are facts
- More >
- Hey im a fan of them but facts are facts
- More >
Twilight but no twinkle
Jul 15th
Never again will I see a vampire movie where the vampires sparkle in sunshine.
It’s great for a genre to be tested, tweaked, or tuned up in order to challenge norms and bring the audience something new. This is what Twilight attempts to do. In many ways I want to like the basic story. I mean isn’t it every guys dream to be 105 and dating sixteen year olds? …But, vampires that sparkle, rather than incinerate when in day light, just seems like a cop out. I understand I can’t dog on the film making by attacking the book series, but this bothers me. A vampire love story written for middle school girls with middle school dialog… Where could this go wrong?
With millions of Twilight series books sold, the immense fan base is clearly dedicated and deserving of a grade A, complimenting film. This is not what they received with Twilight Eclipse. Too many times the film had face-palm moments. Moments when, as an adult male sitting in a theatre of tweens and house wives (embarrassing enough), I had to bury my face in my hand. Some of these moments included dialog like “I am Switzerland” or great acting moments from Taylor Lautner. Other moments were during action sequences that would have been more realistic as claymation. In other words, everything that justifies seeing a shitty summer movie is missing. The scene with the most potential (a ten year old vampire being executed on a whim without anyone to dramatically save her) was cut out by a camera pan : ( . All I’m left with at the end of this film is embarrassment and a strange desire for my own Edward .
