1. Don’t be tricked by the commercialized indie feel that washes over you when you enter, this is excessive A/C.

2. You’ll probably be greeted by a hipster who looks as if she would play opposite Michael Cera in an awkward overly contemporary indie movie dripping with coming of age love failure.

Fucking Hipsters with their god damn PBR

3. Ignore the sunglasses on the racks, these can be purchased else where for 90% less.

4.Spend sometime looking at the coffee table books. Don’t commit to one of these books, things white people like and pictures of Banksy art are readily available on the internet, you don’t need a book.

5. Reminisce: spend some time looking at the tee shirts that have pictures on them. Whether it’s Alf, Where the Wild Things Are, or Ninja Turtles, in some way Urban has attempted to destroy your memories of youth.

6.Pearl Snaps…. just leave these alone, they don’t work for you.

7.Check out the BDG shirts. These t shirts are great, but they shrink like a bitch and the sizes are overstated to make you feel bigger than you are. This should help:

8. On your way out be sure to pick up 10-12 pairs of Haviana sandals